In our latest episode, 🔊 “Pick a Date...Red Lobster or Food Lion and Chill” 🔊Melissa Ann debates with the Boyz about crazy sh*t we've heard on the internet:
Join us as we huddle up about these topics and see who agrees that most women are spoiled.
🔗 Catch up on previous episodes. Listen Now.
If you like this episode, please show some love by liking and leaving a review.
We’d love for you to share this episode with anyone you feel needs some Girl Tawk!
Watch podcast episodes over on YouTube.
Connect with Melissa Ann on Social Media.
#firstdate #lobster #fastfood #girtawk #podcast
In our latest episode, 🔊 “Pick a Date...Red Lobster or Food Lion and Chill” 🔊Melissa Ann debates with the Boyz about crazy sh*t we've heard on the internet:
Join us as we huddle up about these topics and see who agrees that most women are spoiled.
🔗 Catch up on previous episodes. Listen Now.
If you like this episode, please show some love by liking and leaving a review.
We’d love for you to share this episode with anyone you feel needs some Girl Tawk!
Watch podcast episodes over on YouTube.
Connect with Melissa Ann on Social Media.
#firstdate #lobster #fastfood #girtawk #podcast
when people say they have these toxic relationships and all this other stuff, if you just sat down and spoke with this person and not been blinded by the nice restaurant, nice cars, all this other stuff, and got to know what type of person this is, you might not be in a toxic relationship. Welcome to girl talk with the boys and we are back again this session where we are talking about crazy shit that we heard on the internet. So crazy shit that we heard on the internet related to relationships. But before we dive in the crazy shit number one and crazy shit number two, come on boys and introduce yourselves starting with what's higher than number one, baby. Kai Carbaby, AKA Kaizu, reporting for duty. Ow. Straight out of Durham, Bull City, baby. Okay. All right. I didn't know y'all did that up there. Okay. that before. I don't know what it means. Is it nothing special. I'm good. Is it Bull City? This guy, man. Don't know how to have fun. Grumpy Smurf, man. week been before we dive in what's the week been like for you My week has been a week of peace and balance. good well, I just celebrated a birthday, so my birthday was on Monday. happy birthday Happy birthday. Happy birthday. So I had a good time. Well, for me, the week's going really well. Always a constant grind, but that's good. I'm always moving in a positive direction. I got a couple more days left. I'm going to take a week off and go to Mexico, and then I'm going to come back and start grinding again. Mm you know, some of the The topics that we've seen and had discussions about our surrounding relationships, which is what we talk about mostly here anyway. But the 1st, 1, Chi, you kind of dug up and thought it would be a good topic for us to discuss. I thought so too. So you want to talk about it. I absolutely do. So there's this new thing going around where women don't want to be taken to certain restaurant destinations. And so I actually heard two schools of thought about it from two different women. And one woman's like, uh, don't invite me to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. And then the other one was like, Hey, if I asked you to go to Cracker Barrel, would you, would that offend you? Would you say no? And she was like, no, we'll go to Cracker Barrel. She's like, but just, you know, don't let it fall down to McDonald's, you know, because I don't eat McDonald's. I was like, I don't either. So you don't have to worry about that. With my waffle house. She said she went to Waffle House All right, on a date, on a date, at Waffle House. So it's like, you know, when I grew up, Sizzla was, you know, was, was, you know, was the shit. Red Lobster was the shit man red lobster. It was almost like you have money Right, you're right. Sizzla, Red Lobster. thing about it is don't don't don't don't laugh about that because my every time I go home I always tell my mom and say hey mom I'm gonna take you someplace nice where you want to go for some reason She always says red lobster and i'm like, oh my You cannot Cause that's what we write. but but it's back then that Oh, so that would be a note for you then today. If somebody said, if, if somebody was like, hey Melissa, I'd like to take you out. And you're like, oh, what you have in mind? I was thinking of Red Lobster. What would you that'd be a negative ghost writer, I mean they're dirty Well, you know what? I honestly think that women should focus more on the time they're going to spend with the person across the table with them, instead of where they're going to be eating. Because that's the most important portion of the date Because the date is for you to get to know the person. If I'm not taking you to a five star room, I mean, granted, if I can afford to take you to a five star restaurant, that's fantastic. But if I can't, and I can only take you twos and threes, you should be focusing on the guy across the table. Yeah, you got to pick another two or three because i'm not going to red lobster red lobster is dirty. They just had um, um, Uh for a video those jokers the rats was running all through the joint. No, thank you Yeah. Yeah. There's certain places. There's certain places I'm not even going, so, Yeah, I mean, I mean, you can pick a nice place. That's clean and cleanliness. It doesn't have to be red lobster per se, but it could be like a two or three star restaurant. And you know, What about Cheesecake Factory, Melissa? That was, that's a big one on the internet. I like the Cheesecake Factory. I think it's a nice establishment. I think the food is great. Um, but that was a big one. I was on the internet where a girl cut the date off because she didn't want to go to, um, the Cheesecake Factory. I think it was more so because they were supposed to go somewhere else prior to going to the Cheesecake Factory. And then when she showed up, she was like, Whoa, this is not where you supposed to be taking me or something like that. fake news. to piggyback on some of the stuff you guys were talking about as far as dirty restaurants. I don't know if you know half of the ones in D. C. are pretty dirty, and they're considered five star, right? So I don't know if you guys have ever been to D. C. and seen those rats running around, but they're all throughout those restaurants regardless of if you see them or not. So well, they're not at restaurant Shea Melissa and that's where I typically go. I mean, but there's, there's also videos of guys who make really nice dinners for a girl at their house and they're not appreciative of that. I mean, if a guy sits there and he makes a meal for you, I mean, you gotta understand if someone feeds you, that's a big deal. I mean, when you sit in there, you gotta understand what the whole symbolic meaning of breaking bread with somebody, believe it or not, you have wars decided over dinner, um, peace conferences decided over dinner, a lot can be done over dinner where, and then you think about it. I'm going to talk to you. We're going to be shared. We're going to be sharing food. We're going to be, um, we're going to be, um, drinking together. It's, that is your opportunity to get to find out who this person is. If he's a jerk and he's taking you to five star restaurants, I mean, you're going to get lost in the restaurant. Then you're going to find out, you know, you wake up next to the morning and you're next to this guy and you're like, man, I don't even like this person. I mean, that's a valid point. Like, I don't know. Um, I haven't been on a dating scene. So is that something that men are doing now is cooking for women. I cook. You know, I'm a very good cook, so. Most times it's probably better to stay at the crib with me and just eat. I'm not, you know, I'm not pulling out frozen fish sticks. You know what Kanye said, fish stick, but I'm eating that lobster. You know what I mean? So you eating lobster tail, you know, filet mignon, ribeye. You know, Doc Nelly came through one day. I was like, hey, he was like, hey, what's that smell? I was like, it's some, you know, Chilean sea bass. I'm not, I'm not going to say what I said, It ain't no fried whiting, you know, no fried falafel, you know, it's, you know, we eat I mean, if you really want to impress a young lady and you want to have a nice dinner, um, it's, it's cheaper to have a private chef come in and cook the food for you right in right in your house. And, you know, they give you drinks, you chill, you relax, have your drinks, you walk over, you have a three or five course meal, and you're ready to roll, and you're paying the same amount of money as you would if you had um, uh, you went to like a Ruth Chris or something. to cook yourself. don't think it's as cheap as Ruth Chris, bruh. Come on now, I think you, eh, you might take it up a little bit. what do you mean, the private chef? Yeah, I know. Ruth Chris is like, that's, that's like McDonald's to us now, man. Come Well, you know what I mean, most people, see, I'm not, I'm not saying it to us, I'm saying it for everyone to understand, Ruth Chris is like a pinnacle place. Ruth Chris is overrated anyway. I would, I wouldn't say Mmm. I disagree with that. I disagree with that. I don't care where you go in America, it's gonna be a consistent, good meal. a, like, overrated. I've been to better steakhouses than Ruth Chris, Oh, I'm, I'm not saying I'm not better. No, I'm not, I wouldn't, yeah, I'm not gonna I'm not, I'm not, saying it's the best, but I'm definitely not saying it's the worst. I said it's overrated. I wouldn't go that far. why we all have our own opinions, but I think Right, I was about to say, yeah, yeah, we got our own opinions. If she thinks it's overrated, it's overrated to her. I'd like to know from your generation. Does your generation cook for assistance? can't speak for everybody, so, uh, but, but I like to grill, so, I mean, especially during the summertime and spring, I learned from Kai, you know, and doing my own thing on the side, but, um, I like to grill, so. Either I'm doing that or I might cook, you know, for whomever I'm dating. That's cool. We all grill. I mean, I love going to Costco or I like getting some aged beef, getting a big, thick cut. And then you go in there and you, and you fry it up on a, you go there and grill it up on the grill. But the problem is a lot of women don't like a big thick cut of steak like that. what if you're balling on a budget? Like, everybody can't afford these meals. You talk about steak and filet mignon and, um, filet mignon and lobster and big ribeye. you can afford that stuff.'cause you think about it, you get lobster tails. They're not that expensive. They're 10 bucks a tail. You don't have to, you don't get the huge ones, but you get 10 bucks a tail. You go down, you go to Food Line or, or Harris Teeter or whatever. You go a nice ribeye, you get rib eye. hey, I know what boiling on a budget is, because, you know, when I was in college, I had my own place, and when I would cook, you know, I would whip up some, like, a box of mac and cheese, then I would take some turkey meat, brown it and season it up, and throw it in there and mix it up with some spinach, and now we got like a gourmet I'm not knocking Food Lion. What I'm knocking is there are certain things that you do and you don't buy from certain stores. So, I wouldn't buy meat from Walmart. Just like I wouldn't buy a lobster from Food Lion or a lobster tail from Food Lion. some guys, some people don't know. So when you understand, they know lobster is something fancy. Sometimes you can buy it at Food Lion, you can buy it at Fresh Market. You can buy it at all these different places. You can buy it from Whole Foods. I mean, if you don't know, you don't know. It depends on who you're dating, right? So she already knows, or she already had lobster tail. You can't fool her, right? So like, what is this? Is this crawfish? This ain't lobsters. What is this? Yeah. Personally, it is what is what it is. I mean, everyone can sit here and say this, that, and the other thing, but, you know, until you know, you don't know. Like, sometimes you can buy a thick steak and think you're gonna save some money by cutting it in half. Or you know, I mean, it's not racist. It's not it's not that you don't know. It's just that you think that's what it's what you're supposed to do You know, not everyone's gonna get like like, you know The good thing is I can like we can afford now To go to costco and buy a whole prime piece of big prime rib and have a butcher cut it up for us You know, we can buy flank steak. We know different cuts of steak, Yeah, but if we go back to our original statement, what Kai said was the young lady would not go to Cheats Food Factory or Cracker Barrel. So do you think that she's gonna eat a lobster from, um, Lion, Food Lion? I don't think I'm going to take you to Cracker Barrel and they're like, I don't like Cracker Barrel. All right, we'll go to this place. Oh no, I don't like this place. If I don't like this, I don't like this. Um, first off I would pack her stuff up and shoo her out the door because someone like that is just, um, that's not the person you want. Because you, you need someone who's going to be with you when you're down and when you're going to be up. here's what I think. I think that as like right now, you know, me and doc, we used to go to Ruth Chris all the time. First of all, we started out at Longhorn. You know what I mean? What's the other one? Outback, Longhorn. We were Outback and Longhorn brothers. Then we graduated to Ruth Chris. Then it was Morton's. Then it was Flanagan's or Fleming's. And then now we can go to Rathburn. Now we can go to wherever. We can get 180 cuts of Wagyu beef if we wanted to. So, so think about women who have kind of their, their head is not on crack about, so you got to know that. Listen, I'm finished. Now you have to know the class of women. You're dating. If you're going, look, if you're dating women who are VPs. Don't go to them with crack about that's you a dummy for doing that. That's like, Hey, I'm going to go a race, but you coming up there in a beetle and everybody else is driving. Come on, son. You got to come in with a Bugatti. Now, if the woman is a different type of one where they like, that's what they expect. And they come into the table. I used to, you know, every, you got to know that I'm not, you know, I'm not with that, but you know, the way I roll, I'm not, I'm not taking you to crack about it. I'm not taking you to Chick fil a. You know what I'm saying? I'm not taking you to Ruby Tuesdays and Applebee's. That's college day shit. Yes. And no, I think, I think, I think it depends on where she's humble too. So, I mean, if she's willing, if she's a VP for instance, right. And she doesn't really expect you to do the extraordinary, that's fine. I mean, you don't have to take somebody else, you don't have to take no girl out, you know, on the first date somewhere, fancy. You can go in between and then you gradually take her there just to see how she reacts to certain things. That's, that's my opinion. That's what I would do. but you're, you're not going to Cracker Barrel either. Let's be real about it. know, man, it a cracker barrel, I've done crack about No, I'm not. Well, I'm not. Well, I know you've done it, but now you're in a position where your first thought probably isn't going to be, you know what? I'm going to wake up and take my baby to Cracker Barrel. think it goes back to what he said, which, which date is it? I think along the lines of, you know, when we were talking in the chat, I think coffee is fine for a first date. It doesn't have to be something extravagant, There are coffee shops that are better. You spin. Cracker Barrel. Now, you can go to here in Atlanta. You got Cafe Intimezzo. You got little French spots you can go to that are nice, upscale coffee shops with nice pastries. So, that's different than Cracker Barrel. That's true. but I'm still going to stand on the point that. It doesn't matter where you go with the person, um, CEO, you know, the fry girl at McDonald's, you want to know what kind of person you're dealing with. And, you know, and that's why, that's why I think a coffee, coffee shop date is fine. You just want to sit there and talk, but you do, you just want to sit there and talk to the person and find out where their head's at. Because, you know, And the funny thing about it is if you can take a girl to Cracker Barrel and she appreciates you buying her and taking her to Cracker Barrel, great. If you don't think, if she's not going to appreciate Cracker Barrel, and oh, this is not good enough for me, this is not this, you know what? That might not be a person who's only interested in materialistic things. Because the thing, just like everything else, materialistic things, exterior features, um, I always tell people, you can be good looking now, you can be good looking ten years from now, but guess what? Good looks fade. Because as you get older, we don't get better looking. I mean, you can still stay good looking, but after a while, you want to be involved with somebody who has a lot more to offer you than just a pretty face. You want a great personality. You want her to be able to laugh. You want her to be able to help you out with problems. So my whole thing is, you're not going to find that out, um, if you're eating a 300 meal and you can barely talk and you got to whisper. You know, you might want to find out, does she cut up? You know, she can write, she can say jokes and she can laugh and she ain't going to be upset when you make jokes about it and that stuff. You know, you do, you want to be able to find that out. So that's what I think the meal is for. I mean, I think we've personally, I think we're focusing on the meal itself. Yeah. You're not focused on the person across the table from you. Not that, Mean, that's really a valid statement. Like people are focused on the what. You know, and where you're going versus how is this person going to add value to my life? Do I really like this person? Are they worth the second date versus where you're going? That's very valid. And there is a lot of emphasis on that. I agree. I hate to say it. We're more interested in someone who's wearing Louis Vuitton, doing this, doing that Dior, this thing, that thing, that thing. And on the, and on the inside, you know, they're a horrible person. They're a horrible person, you know? And then you believe it or not, the person who's wearing like, I don't know, Tommy Hilfiger, I mean, something wearing something normal, Tell me if it ain't normal. You're gonna have to go on down to Walmart, like. faded, faded glory, man. But the thing is though, at the end of the day, you wanna, you wanna be with somebody who's real. Hey, we, we, look, we all have been there and have elevated. And as you elevate the circles, you date and should be elevated as well. So as you move up, let me finish, doc. So as you move up, so in the past, you know, I didn't wear Gucci and Prada and all that, you know, Bulbarian, but I wear that shit. The Yeezys, you know, cause I, you know, I like my stuff. I can afford it. I'm not robbing Peter to pay Paul. So, and so with that comes the different, you know, I'm not running in circles with women that, you know, can't do the same. You um, I might have to leave your circle cause I shop at Shein. that. a personal choice. Yes. a personal choice. It's not that you can't afford it. It's a personal choice. Yes, and, you know what though? But that should be just fine. For some guys, that'd be like, I can be, I can be like this. You know what? I can be like, you know what? That's the kind of girl I like. She ain't she's not caught up in all the superficiality. She's just basic and real. Boom. If she likes to wear whatever this, that, and that. If she looks good in it, god bless her. I think, you know, people look phenomenal in those clothes, but like you said, it's just, uh, um, a personal choice It's a personal choice. And at the end of the day, it's all vanity anyway. And I've realized that, you know what I'm saying? I used to be a high W and that's expensive stuff. Yeah. That was back when I couldn't afford it. You know what I mean? I mean, I can afford it. So, But you work like, let me finish in that part. Thank you. I put in the work, but I don't want to sound like. But, you know, I'm this high minded guy, of course, you know, I've dated women that don't make as much as me, but they brought more things to the table than just the financial side. So, I think the important piece is, yes, you know, there are certain things you get to know the person and you're like, ah, this person is materialistic and not really just, you know, like to enjoy the spice of life based on where you are, you know, there's a difference you can, and you should be able to tell that and pick that up that a materialistic person is not a materialistic person. It's different for somebody who's like, okay, they're not materialistic, but they just like to enjoy life and not afraid to spend, spend now to enjoy it. but I think everyone chooses what they want to spend their money on. Like, I may have a different advice than buying name brand things, but I might like to do something else. Um, it might be a different way that I spend my money. But you can like go on Facebook now and, and get some of that stuff, but it, to me, it's still like, it's a lot of money for a purse where Louis Vuitton is really not even leather. It's vinyl. The last topic that we have Is the video that I sent in the chat where the young lady was saying that she's not going back to like you break up with someone and then they want to come back. Well, women are thinking that because you're coming back, it means that they think you're a dummy and they could continue to play you. know what? I'll be quite honest with you. Some of the, some of the people who get on the internet, and I don't know why you do this, but it just, it's just a bad look. I mean, some people break up with other people and they say, Hey, you know what? I realized what I had and I want to go back to it. And you know, every, I mean, that's, that's just facts of life. No one thinks you're a dummy. I mean, that's, that's not, that's just not realistic. I I thought that was stupid. you're gonna have arguments. Me and Kai have had arguments. I'm not gonna, I'm like, oh, I'm not gonna talk to Kai no more. no, it's not, not where it's platonic. It's a man and a woman still a relationship. And at the end of the day, if you have a relationship with somebody, and things don't go back, I mean, you can get mad at somebody. You can walk away and take a break, and then say, you know what? I don't want, I don't want there to be so much separation between us. I want to be with this person. I mean, I get it. But the funny thing is, is just that you have to understand dating is like you, you have to develop, there's, there's peaks and valleys in every relationship. And unfortunately, you're gonna go through a valley and you're gonna realize, Hey, you know what? I made a mistake, and I missed this person, and I want this person back in my life. And that's what you're doing. All this other stuff, Oh, they think I'm a dummy, they do that, I think they're doing that just think it could be if, if the relationship was toxic. right. Exactly. So if the relationship She didn't give she didn't give any context on how the relationship was. She's just coming out. Like, she's the authority on breakups and to make up. All right. Well, there's this, there's, you know, you have the worst case scenario and then you have the best case scenario. Doc's talking best case where two people can be adult, mature, mature adults who are self aware and understand that sometimes shit doesn't work and then you got over here. If you go back to somebody, you're done. And then in between those extremes, you got every iteration and you know what? can exist at the same time. And you know what the funny thing is? If we go back to the last conversation and apply the last conversation in this conversation, when people say they have these toxic relationships and all this other stuff, if you just sat down and spoke with this person and not been blinded by the nice restaurant, nice cars, all this other stuff, and got to know what type of person this is, you might not be in a toxic relationship. You know, you might find if you sat down and talk to this guy, you might find out, hey, this guy is, he's got an unnecessarily angry temper. Because, um, I could be in the coffee shop and a person makes my order badly and I'm yelling at the girl, I'm slamming stuff down. Your thought process has got to be, Hey, this might not be the guy. But if you take it to a nice restaurant, um, you don't get to, you don't get to interact with me in a meaningful way that a lot of stuff gets overlooked because you're looking at the presentation of the food. You're looking at the presentation. That's why a lot of business lunches don't, they don't have business lunches anymore because people lose concentration and focus while they're eating. And there's always an interruption so that you cannot keep on the business. So when you, so what they do is they have lunch, but they order it in so you can be at a table and you can be doing work and you can focus on the work and eat in between. It depends on the woman, you know, I just, here's the deal. If that's a woman's 411 or her M. O. That's just going to be her 4 1 1 and her M. O. until she decides to get out the game. You know, you got pimps and you got playettes. And that's just the reality of life. And then you just got to know who you're messing with. Trust me, you'll know, like I said earlier. If you are a self aware, observant, You know, value based, principle based, behavior based individual. You'll be able to tell the difference between a woman who's that type of play yet versus someone, all right. They just like to enjoy the spice of life because we have balance in our relationship. Sometimes they want to go to Marcel's or, you know, Rathburn steakhouse, or they're good with just chilling at the crib cooking steak or stir fry some, you know, take tips and some fried rice at the crib. And if you're not, if it's like that, then we cool. But if it's always, you know, We got to always dip, dip, dip. And I'm not, you know, I'm not with that. No, I was going to say, I agree with that. You can definitely tell, um, uh, unscrupulous, you know, behavior or whatnot, because it's going to show probably within the next, well, within the next five minutes or so of your interaction with that person, you can kind of get a gauge of how they are. Right. So then it also, it also boils down to how people communicate because once again, people don't know how to communicate. Right. There, there's a gap into how people interact with certain people because of, could it be their environment and how they saw other people act? And so they act the same way. So people just don't know how to communicate in general. They don't know how to express their feelings because you know what? That was a clip I saw the other day where that said he doesn't express how he feels or he doesn't vent to a woman because. They're going to use it against them that goes how, you know, how we communicate and how, you know, certain relationships are with certain people, but it's just crazy how you meet certain people who just don't know how to either vent or just communicate in general and to express how they feel about somebody. That is powerful. Um, and we talked about that in our last episode. But I was also gonna say there's layers to what doc said Like, you know, you have that one meeting, but we all know When you first go out with someone for the first three to six months, you're you're talking to the impersonator So they're gonna hide everything For the most part until stuff starts to creep out. You're not gonna see it on the first date most instances So superficial. And then I, on good behavior yeah. And then I, I'll add to yours. We, I think there's an element of selfishness. It's about me, me, me, me, me, what I feel, what I want to do versus how do we walk together? What do I do to compliment value? Do I bring to that person? And what value do they bring back to me is it can't just be one And I the thing you have to understand when you're with somebody and then, and it's tough for me to do and it's tough for a lot of people to do, um, is that you have to understand and you got to walk in that person's shoes. You got to understand their position, but on the, on the, on the flip side too, you know, they have to understand your position and you can say, Hey, I understand your, what you're in, but you, but you got to see the position I'm in. And if they never see the position you're in, you're going to always feel slighted. Yeah. then some people are. over. That's game over for me. Yeah. And, and some people, some people label that narcissistic, oh, you're narcissistic, you're narcissist. No, you gotta think, you gotta understand. I'm going through some real life shit and you know, I understand the position you're in, but I'm in, but I'm in the weeds too. You know? I mean, I mean, you are in the weeds. I'm in the weeds. I got an idea. Let's get together, be a team, and we probably might be able to knock these weeds down together. But if you're, you're, if you're, if you're stuck in your head about your problems and you're not even remotely gonna listen, you're not even remotely interested in what I'm, my, my problems are. I got going on, then it makes it real tough because you're the mismatch. Two are better than one. How always. together? Unless they agree. People are forgetting that, you know, it's not like, you know, you know, everyone's thinking. Yeah, it's it's us against the world But there's going to be some points where I carry you and the funny thing about it Is is that you don't realize that because I remember um, the funny thing about it Is I was watching one of my college football tapes I said, you know, I saw one I popped that thing in the dvd player and i'm like man Let me see just relive my glory years and i'm watching it and there was a play Where the, um, where the tackle goes down and I come in behind him. And the thing that I, the thing I recognized is that the guy, the tackle in front of me, he would literally grab the opposing player and pull him so I could run by. And the thing that I, and the funny thing is, I never realized that he was giving himself up so I could make the big play. So the thing about it is, is that here is this guy, he's, he's pretty much pulling everyone on top of himself. So you don't even see who he is. And then I run up and I make the, I make the tackle, I make the sack. And, and I'm like standing there, my arms up in the air. But the reality is, I never would have been in that position if I didn't have the help. So that's it's called the team. in buying me and where I eat and everything. Cause you gotta understand, if I take you to Cracker Barrel, and you're having a big fit about me taking you to Cracker Barrel, I'm not gonna wanna take you to um, a fancy restaurant. Because I know, when the things are down, this is how you're gonna act. Everyone is great when you're up. Everyone's happy when you're up. I mean, it's great to be around me when we're up. But I'm telling you what, back when Cracker Barrel was the, I mean, that was the joint to go to, you know, you had, you had your nose turned up. So I mean, for the most part, that's why I do the coffee dates. That's why I would do a coffee date, simply for the fact that, you know, if you're, if you're, if you're, if I don't like you, I don't like your energy, I don't like what you're bringing to the table, it only costs me what, five dollars for a high priced thing of coffee. It's true. I have a book that is available on um, Amazon and Barnes and Nobles. Volume 1, The Ragdoll Diaries, Pink Panties on the Floor. Wanted to read a excerpt from the book, um, just to correlate, um, what we were talking about today. And get your, your final thoughts from there. So, um, just to, to give the readers a synopsis of Shay is the main character, she's dating Andre, but She knows that she is one of his women, but she feels like, you know, she wants him to get it all out of his system and she's going to be the main chick. And then the other chick is going to be nothing. So, um, but her bubble was busted. So she says, reality is I'm not sure what men are thinking where they pull on the heartstrings of women. In some instances, we allow it because a man will only do What you allow them to do, but in some instances, I believe greed gets the best of them One dude told me he was just selfish selfish. Nah, you're greedy, bitch Walking around here sticking anything with the pulse that says hello Men need to stop for a moment and realize that their daughters or granddaughters may go through the same experiences. They may perhaps find men just like them and it is then I hope they stop for a moment and remember all of the women whom they victimized through the years. Women are not dogs or puppies, whichever one you want to use. Women are not pawns. Women are feeling people with real emotions and men must realize that they cannot just pick us up and throw us away like old rags whenever they feel like it. I know that I am worthy of someone who's going to love me and only me But I cannot see it right now standing on the inside So I will continue to play this game until I crap out I think who she's dealing with and where she's getting these people from. Number one, So if you're constantly going to the same well to get these people, then you need to change your, well, you need to change your environment. Number two, I mean, you need to look at yourself and analyze yourself and, you know, try to figure out why am I dealing with these people? Expect more for yourself. How to blame somebody else. She had a little self esteem By the way, I agree. That's what it sounds like. And then that might come from, uh, you know, maybe like I said earlier, the environment or parental trauma. Some kind of trauma that caused that. So, you know, even kids, right? Kids are very brutal growing up. talks about that in the in in the book. So the reason why kids are so brutal is no one's taught them how to lie. Well, I don't so when you when you ask, when you ask a three or four year old, um, hey, am I fat? And they say, yeah, you're fat. It's not that they're being mean. It's just that no one's taught them to embellish. No one's taught them to lie. So you're getting the truth and sometimes believe it or not. We need to we actually need to tell the truth I mean the funny thing is you're talking about that woman having low self esteem that guy might have low self esteem Because the thing is though he's trying to find himself in One two, three, four, five, six, seven women and the thing is you gotta understand if he's sleeping with five or three Four women at a time and he still feels empty. It's not the women who are the problem. He might be the problem Okay, all right. Let me, let me, let me counteract that. What have you already told me that I don't know? I don't, I never read the book, but what have you already told him what he wants? You know what? That's the same thing. I don't care if he tells them The problem you gotta understand is, if you're, the whole goal is, if you're gonna try to find a mate, you're gonna try to find your soulmate, you're gonna try to find your partner, but what if, they don't want that? you know what, if they don't want that, that's fine, then he's gonna keep looking. But the funny thing is, if you're looking for one person, and you wanna be with that one person, you're not gonna sleep with five or six different women right, that's if you're looking for If that's you're looking if you're if you're looking for your person You're not going to sleep with five or six different women Well, that's the big if if i'm looking for one person. Sometimes you're looking for multiple people to make a whole person. And you know what that might be the case But at the end of the day if you're that narcissistic that you're looking for this person this you're this you're this you're this You got to find out all people aren't perfect. And you pick whatever long person that you want to be with. Because like you say, everybody does, everybody's not perfect. So you pick their imperfections and you say, well, this time I can deal with for the rest of my life. And if it is, then you stick with them. If not, you go on about your business. yeah, you know what? I'm a hardcore guy. I'm this way or that way. If you can't, if you can't take my personality, I'm cool with taking my, you can't take my personality. That's cool. You don't have to hang out with me. that's what the girl was saying. What we said is that person was already playing with you. And then you went back to that joker knowing that he was playing with you, but he's not going to stop playing with you. He thinks you're dumb enough to come back when he was playing with you, but it doesn't apply to every relationship. It applies to the ones where they were playing around with you. Well, you gotta understand too, that guy, that guy, that guy could be, he could be really good at playing her heart. And he could be, you know, he could say the right things and do the right things where he could say, Hey, this is a, I mean, I think you're special. I think you're this, you're this, but you keep sleeping with other people. I think I got to step away. All right. You step away, but you start missing that person and you think he's going to change. It doesn't mean you're a You miss that person and you miss what they do to you. Sometimes you got to be committed to the breakup period. We know, we know there's certain, you know, if we know how to break up went down, it wasn't like if it wasn't a mutual head, let's just take a break and we'll come back and see how this goes. If it was one of those breakups where it's like, yeah, we need to stay broken up. And you get those urges to go back, you have to be committed to the breakup, just like you tried to be committed to that relationship. Yep. That's the tough damn part. and that's where the pain comes in. It's a grieving process that takes place when you break up with somebody. Look, I always said this, once the heart gets involved, game over. When you break up with that person and the heart is tangled up, a healing, there's a grieving process that takes place. is, sometimes it never heals. And that's the thing you got to understand. That's the thing you got to take. And it's horrible. This is a good show. I really enjoyed it. Any last thoughts? Let's start with Lee. He was quiet. don't have any last thoughts, man. I don't, I can't think of anything right now. Um, but I definitely enjoyed the conversation. Um, everybody's different perspectives. Yeah, I accept everybody's opinion. Yeah, I like it. We that's what we talked about diversity of thought. We don't all have to agree, but I think we all have different perspectives and it works. Yeah, my parting last words. You know, enjoy the beauty of being human. No, stop, stop. We are not AI. We are not machines. Learn to give yourself grace. We make mistakes. No one's perfect. And sometimes we're good. Look, sometimes we've got a lot of rods in the fire. We're juggling a lot of balls and sometimes you're going to drop a ball and you might, you know, Rob, one ride might get too high. We need to drop that shit. It's okay. It's part of being human. So accept your humanity. That's what I'm saying. Reverend Roosevelt, Didn't he go to sleep? like he froze. He froze on us. He went to sleep. sleep doing church. No, the image is frozen. Nobody to nudge him. the church mother at when you need her? Where the church mother at? Wake up, boy. yo. Oh! You've been listening to girl talk with the boys. We hope that you enjoyed this episode Please follow us on youtube like and share um, and as always We see you because we are you we'll see you next time on girl. Talk with the boys